Antarria, the Shadows of Perfection

Dwarven Side Quest

4 Dwarves who don't know what they're looking for. Hilerity ensuses...

A group of Dwarves plays a minor role at the beginning of The War of the Lance before their deaths. See comments for full story.


Paragraphs are numbered so that people can add to specific scenes. There will be some grammatical inaccuracy as David used Word to replace the first person with his name after transferring this from a Facebook thread. There was little proofreading.

1. So the night starts with Aidan, Daniel, and David sitting around making new characters because none of us want to play the usual folk and then have to level them down. This results in a rather comedic, dwarven and powergamed party. Aidan played a variant of the classic whip-tripper build, but as a dwarf with an AC of 27(?). Daniel played a mix of Barbarian and Scout as the party’s Rogue. He found the traps and then smashed them with his Adamantine Warmace. David played a Fighter/Monk who worshiped dirt and gems, and could get 3 heavy pick attacks a turn. We called Tyler and picked him up on the way to game. While waiting for Aaron, Tyler built an unkillable dwarven Knight with 62 hp and an ungodly AC.

2. Aaron arrived exactly at 6:00 and we explained our characters. Aaron then explained our back story as a group. We had gotten together about 7 years back and adventured together for a while. Then we decided to split up and search for the Gods, and meet up at this inn in 5 years. David’s spent that time alone in a mine. He learned how to live off dirt and forgot his name. Tyler’s character went to Solomnia; Daniel’s to some desert; and Aidan’s to Ergoth.

3. The Game opens with us returning to the inn so that we can tell each other what we didn’t learn. Aidan and Tyler get to play first. They were attacked by a band of Hobgoblins on the road. The Hobgoblins were searching for some big blue staff, and working for the town we were to meet at. Tyler and Aidan dispatched them in short order. We then switch to Daniel’s character, who is hassled at the gate of the town. The guards also ask about the staff and charge Daniel an adventuring tax because their dog didn’t like him. Then we move to my character, who is mobbed by goblins. They almost kill him, but he wins through. There is no mention of the staff in that encounter.

4. Daniel’s character arrives at the inn first. He gets the party a table by the door and talks up the bar-lass a little bit. Then Aidan and Tyler arrive. The three of them swap stories and act like dwarves. Then David arrives. There’s a little exaggeration about how many goblins attacked me, and more loud dwarven behavior. Things start to get rather funny quite quickly. Then we decide that the High Theologian hiring Hobgoblins is just not right. It should be noted that this town is a hundred feet up in big trees.

5. David asks some random guy at the bar where we might find the High Theologian. He points the guy out. It turns out the HT was in the bar the entire time. David walks over to him, to give him crap about the Hobgoblins and try to get ourselves hired instead. The other dwarves bravely stay at the table. So David gruffly accosts the HT and he gets a little huffy. Then the story teller next to him flips out and has a vision about our party and the staff. The HT then decides David has the staff and David decides his character doesn’t have pants. David lifts his beard to show the HT that there is no big blue staff, and he flips out. (of course, who wouldn’t after a bloody, dirt encrusted dwarf just showed you his junk?). He calls the guards and tries to flee out the window (which must have been difficult for the fat bastard). Four guards enter the inn, and combat ensues. Tyler challenges the guards so that many may only attack him. Daniel successfully sunders one of their clubs and then beats the poor bloke down. Aidan trips a number of the fools. David uses his masterful monk skills to burrow a guard into unconsciousness. The last guard falls into a table occupied by a scared elf. The injuries of the guard, or his badge, activates a magic item under the elf’s cloak. A wind blows and the staff is revealed.

6. David, seeing 6ft of gem, tries to initiate a grapple. The elf runs toward the back door of the inn. The other dwarves try to stop him with words.Davidtry to initiate another grapple, and discover that the staff is a +5 weapon with a smite ability in addition to a healing stick. David goes into the negatives. The others calm the elf down and he heals David. We climb down a secret exit and escape the town.

7. We are spotted as we flee the town. Some arrows zing past us and we run a little faster. The town militia rallies and gives chase. We reach a lake with three boats. The elf guards the boat we wish to take while Daniel smashes the other two. If falls to Aidan, Tyler and David to hold off the advancing human hoard. The fight is “tough and long” (TeHe). A couple peasants do escape and the rest are only unconscious. We hop in fishing boat and cast off.

8. Then we discover that no one has any idea what they are doing with this boat. The elf makes an untrained sailor check and Aidan assists. Three 1’s later, we’re all making reflex saves. Tyler is the only one to fail and he falls into the lake. Even with ranks in swim, Tyler is at a -5 to swim checks because he wont abandon his fullplate (It was +1 after all). David dives in after him, and swim down to the bottom where he has sunk. We try to get him back to the surface, but he just can’t make a check. He decides to walk back to shore. David swims back to the boat and try to get them to turn around, but the elf refuses. Tyler surfaces and the militia mob him. That was when you guys got your .pic messages.

9. When the now reduced party reaches the opposite shore, the dwarves decide we must return for our companion. The elf encourages us to make camp first. He then heals us with the staff, and we are in appropriately accepting of the fact. Clearly years of gaming made us forget that healing didn’t exist in this world. In the morning, we resolve once again to head back. The elf refuses to come with us. He tells us to meet him in a city on the nearby planes. We say our goodbyes and begin our long trudge back to the city.

10. We get near the city and realize we might get spotted long before we reach it. David burrows the party to the center of the city to avoid unfriendly eyes. Then we consider our options. The stairs are probably all guarded and we are wanted criminals. We decide to climb the trees themselves. Aidan realizes the silliness of this notion quickly and climbs back down. Daniel and David continue their climb (each of them would only fall on a 1). David got 60ft up and then critically failed his check. David falls from that height, into his tunnel and take 8d6 damage. Daniel gets 80ft up and then fails his check and falls, also taking 8d6 damage. We both survive, barely, while Aidan laughs at us. The party decides the stairs are a better idea.

11. We are spotted as we ascend the stairs. Five guards with crossbows begin to fire on us. In typical dwarven fashion, we weather the hail of bolts and continue our climb. David is struck first and go down. Then Daniel takes a bolt and falls. Aidan valiantly continues on until the guards drop the last 20 ft of stairs. With no avenue of ascent left to him, Aidan is forced to flee. He grabs one of my mugs of infinite ale on his way down.

12. The next 2 hours consist of Tyler, Daniel, and David making new characters. Daniel resolves to play another dwarf, which brings his CHA score to 3. Aaron decides that anyone with that bad a score must have something seriously wrong with them and starts cracking crude jokes. This becomes the personality of the new dwarf. Tyler makes a human Evoker from the arctic regions. Soon into his introduction we decide that Jesus is a title for such holy men and Tyler’s character gains a new joke/title. I, like always, cannot figure out what to play for most of that time. Then David thinks of something, but keep it secret because David loves suspense.

13. New characters in hand, the game resumes. Aidan trudges along the road, lamenting the loss of his dear companions, but enduring as all dwarves must. He encounters a tribe of nomadic planes people who confront him. They speak very poor common, but communication does happen. The planesfolk decide that Aidan’s dwarfiness automatically makes him kin with all other dwarves. They bring out Daniel’s character, who had been imprisoned. The nomads didn’t know what he was saying, but they knew it was unpleasant. Then they tell the dwarves to leave.

14. Mountain Dwarf Aidan, and Hill Dwarf Daniel get along predictably well. They argue and but heads until nightfall. Then they argue about who shall take watch and when. During this argument, Tyler’s Boots of Teleportation malfunction, and Tyler appears between the dwarves. The arctic Jesus is very confused as there is no snow and he is surrounded by hairy short people that look like walruses. A hilarious discussion ensues involving race, Knowledge checks, and the removal of furs. In the end, Aidan convinces Tyler to take a watch so that the belligerent dwarf could sleep.

15. Night wares on, and Aidan’s watch nears its completion. The full Red moon crests a nearby hill and a figure appears, in flowing black robes and carrying a scythe far larger than itself. The figure bellows “I am Necromorgoth The Reaper of Souls! Weep and despair! ” Aidan is unimpressed with the 2’8’’ figure’s intimidation and gruffly asks who he is.David then approaches closer, lift the skull-mask to reveal my grinning Kender face and great him. The dwarf is predictably thrilled at the appearance of a Kender. He tries to wake up Tyler for his watch, but fails.Davidgo over and intimidate the the human into waking up, and get rewarded with a burst of Frost magic as a reward.

16. The Jesus of Icewall had never seen a Kender before either. More fun racial misconceptions and confusion follows.David unrolls my black, skeletal kitty bedroll and go to sleep next to Daniel. Tyler takes his watch without event. In the morning, Daniel is particularly unhappy to see a Kender has joined the group during the night. There is both grumbling and mumbling as the party sets off for their unknown destination.

17. As we trudge along the road, the party spots a beleaguered figure chased by eight cloaked men with curved swords.David is careful to note that I’m not with them, before rushing off to save the poor guy. The rest of the party roll their eyes and follow. The combat is tough. Three of the figures engage me and the tired guy, while the other five go after the party. The tired guy falls before we could save him. We get frequent flashes of scaly skin under the robes. Tyler burns through all of his spells. Aidan puts up a valiant stand before falling to the blows of the flanking figures. Daniel and David perform daring hit and run maneuvers as our health dwindles. The last figure panics and we rush to stabilize Aidan. He dies just before we reach him.

18. With the only remaining party member who had any knowledge of the mission dead, we end the night of gaming. Tyler begins his long journey back to Icewall. Daniel and David get into a three day long insulting match that results in our friendship. The War of the Lance goes as the Histories would have you believe. And the valiant games go get waffles.

Dwarven Side Quest

Heh. Nice Summary David. Waffles indeed.

Dwarven Side Quest

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